The Girl Scouts are out to get me

Don't be fooled by their cuteness or snappy uniforms, this is a very sinister organization. Here's the "Facts".

1. Their little "agents" have obviously had our home under surveillance so that their "cookie pushers" could strike when either my wife Michele or I are home. (Never both.) This tactic has allowed them to double their sales to approximately 90 boxes of cookies this year!

2. Their "collectors" only accept cash or check, no cards. Sound suspicious? I think so! Since I haven't had a checkbook in 10 years, (I suck at writing down amounts) and don't carry a lot of cash, I have to resort to rummaging our house for cash like a cookie junkie desperate for a fix.

3. Their crispity, crunchety, cookies are far too addictive to be "legal". Especially the thin mints.

I'm glad "cookie season" is almost over or I would need a mortgage lender and an intervention by Richard Simmons.